New Year

I know... it's March 13. What am I on about calling it a "new year"? Well, it is to me. I just celebrated my 41st birthday. It's funny; I don't feel 41. I don't look like what I always imagined 41 to look like. But as we age, we tend to modify our outlook of what 'age' actually is. To me, it's a number.... but it is not 'old'. Old is when all you do is complain about your health and the young whippersnappers. Basically, there are people I go to church with who are 'old' in years, but very young at heart. I know this lady who is 77, and you'd never know it to look at her. She's as vibrant as the 20 year olds. Sure, she doesn't look 20, but she also doesn't look 77 (I'd put her at about 55). She's active and really involved in things. What 'age' has done for her is allowed her the time to enjoy what she enjoys rather than having to spend 40 hours plus a week working for someone else. So she volunteers and interacts.

But I'm now 41. What did I expect of my life at this age? I don't know. Am I the person I expected to be 'when I grew up'? Again, I don't know. I never really had these 10-year goals or anything. I have always hated those questions.

However, I think it is time to set some personal goals.

By 50:

1. I would like to have WRITTEN a novel. Note: I'm not going to say 'have a novel published'. I just want to have written one--one that *I* am happy with and proud of, even if no publishing house wants it.

2. I would like to have visited Europe again.

3. I will be married, still. I truly believe that this time we have it right. John and I have waited a lifetime to be together. And I do mean a lifetime. We met over 25 years ago. And it really does seem like it was love at first sight. Everyone I've ever dated has been compared to him. I evaluated how I 'felt' with them, compared to how I 'felt' with him. They all fell short. Life, circumstances, weird things happened and separated us. And I never thought we'd get back together--so he was not an 'option'. But technology of the 21st century changed all that, and here we are again--together. If we have loved each other apart as long as we have, I do think that we'll continue to do so together.

So... not a lot of goals. but still, a few.