Wedding Bits

My fiance and I have an appointment with our minister on March 4 at 6 to discuss the ceremony and what we have planned. And boy do we have plans!

We have written out our handfasting ceremony, picked our vows, decided to do a Rose Ceremony and to scratch the obligatory Unity Candle (mom will be so pleased...not). In addition, we're doing a chalice lighting at the beginning.

We are hoping that we'll be able to have a Flame Bearer (I don't see why not) carry a lantern, bringing the flame into the space -- sort of lighting the way. I would like our sanctuary to be dark and just lit up at the front. Since this is an evening service, it will be more dramatic, I think, if the light is 'on the stage' so to speak. My concern: I do know how our sanctuary lights work. I'm not sure that they can be dimmed at the appropriate time. May have to have the minister do it before he comes out. (Not sure when he should). Basically, the lights are in the little room between the minister's office and the sanctuary. FH is processing in too, rather than coming in from the side -- he and his party will march in to something like "Scotland the Brave" (that's not settled; he's in charge of the music). They would follow the Flame Bearer.

My mother is driving me nuts. I swear, she's Momzilla. She doesn't like this and she doesn't like that. Never mind that this is reflective of US and our guests will appreciate it. She complained about the cake -- then she got to taste it and decided it was actually good. She fussed about what color dress I could buy. She fussed about our wedding colors. She fussed about the Rehearsal Dinner menu. She fussed about the hotel. She fussed about the Reception Menu. There's not a thing that we're doing that she has said "Oh I love that!" EXCEPT that I asked the florist for wrist corsages instead of pin on ones. She thinks we're paying too much for the cake (except for the fact that a> we have to have a diabetic cake and that limits our options and b> yesterday, I heard a quote from Publix....which was freakishly HIGHER than what we're paying!). Quite frankly, she's pissing me off.

And we have not even told them the bulk of the plans. She doesn't know we're doing a handfasting and not doing the Unity Candle. She doesn't know that Dad is only walking me half-way down the aisle. (Yes--we need to have that conversation with them.) And to be honest, half of the reason she doesn't know this stuff is because she's been completely unsupportive of the entire thing. Okay, so it isn't a standard wedding. Get over it. The point is, the wedding has actually been co-planned by both of us--and that's really the way it should be (ideally. granted, getting most guys to participate is not easy. My fiance is actively planning, and not being roped in. Yay him!). It's about us. It's not about the Baptist Church (and we're not having it in a Baptist Church). It's not about my parents -- they had their wedding. This wedding is going to be unlike anything that most of the guests will have seen -- and that is good. We have an officiant to sign the license, and that's really all we need. The rest is just stagecraft. It's telling a story of who we are.

But truthfully, if we were not blood -- my parents and I would have no contact. We are far too different. I do love them -- but they do not understand me...or rather, they do not choose to accept the person that I am rather than the person they wish I was. (A good little Christian woman.)